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Showing posts with label sad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sad. Show all posts

Wednesday, 9 June 2010

The Pursuit Of Whimsy...

The last week has been dedicated to the pursuit of whimsy. Floral prints, light fabric, lens flare, dancing in the grass, blowing bubbles... All very standard stuff, I am sure. I ran out of bubble mixture after blowing bubbles for three hours solid out of my window. Only about ten people walked past in the whole time I was blowing bubbles, and one of them was a porter who remarked "ooh bubbles!". This pleased me, as when an elderly man can enjoy bubbles, then the world is a happy place for me.

Today I went to the Foundation Degree Show, at the Central St Martin's College of Art. It is on for another three days, if anyone is reading this, and is also in the vicinity of London. It was amazing. I felt like weeping constantly, for the entire time I was there. Why didn't I follow my dreams of doing art? WHY? My friend Eleanor Bull (link to her website) was exhibiting her work there, and that was incredible, although being the primary subject of her project, I found it quite difficult to appreciate her final piece. There was a lot of beautiful work on display, and I found myself feeling incredibly jealous of the students. I shouldn't. I am at Cambridge, living so many people's dream. I still looked at those people's illustrations and creations and felt miserable because I want to be doing those things.

Something else that struck me at the art show was how amazingly everyone dressed. I have been told before that I "dress like an art student", but I feel I need to take this more seriously, and get back into expressing myself with clothes. I swear I used to be way more creative with my outfits. Let's do this, Candy. Let's get back into the fucking SWING of things. Pull your finger out!

At the recommendation of my good friend Julia, I purchased some of Boots' traditional Cold Cream. I am looking into completely vintage-ifying my skincare regime. I am hoping, wishing and praying that the Cold Cream isn't the reason for my sudden breakout, and that it is actually something hormone/crimson wave related... One side of my face is softer and happier than ever, but the other side insists on being red and dry and spotty all at once. I wish I had Julia's complexion...

Before I stop writing this, and go back to perusing the internets, I will just add that I am planning on getting a tattoo on my foot this summer. I want a little swallow, but I just have to decide on the placement. And see if my mum will hate me forever if I get a tattoo... I don't think she will mind really, since it is so small and she never had any problems with my piercings.

Goodnight all.

Tuesday, 11 November 2008

A Thousand (nearly) Things.

Oh Lor'.

I have a trillion billion things rushing around my head but none of them seem to make enough sense for me to commit them to paper, whether in my essay, or on other random scraps which I might happen to write.

It is quarter to three, and I ought to be about half way through an essay by now, but I am so not. It is really quite upsetting actually. The essay is meant to be about Plato's Phaedrus, and his attitude towards Sophistry and Dialectic in this dialogue. But at the moment, I can't even get my syntax right in this blog, let alone in an essay.

The thing is, the essay is due in on Thursday. Thursday!? You might be saying. But that would give you the whole of today and tomorrow night to do it. But no. Tomorrow I have to go back to Brighton. Don't get me wrong, I am excited to see Eleanor, but this does mean I am losing out on a LOT of vital time which I need to write my essay. And Eleanor SO won't understand my need to get this essay in on time.

All I am hoping for is that Dan manages to get another ticket to the Caius Super Formal Hall on Thursday evening, because that would actually give me something to look forward to. I suppose I do have the T.O.D.S. meeting to look forward to on Thursday after my supervision. T.O.D.S. is a society a few of my friends and I formed. It is the Tea Or Death Society and our main aim is to consume every type of tea which we can get our hands on in the local tea emporium. We have other aims, but this is by far the principal aim.

Pleasepleasepleaseplease let Dan get another ticket to the Formal. This is basically what is getting me through my week. On Friday, I have to go back to Brighton AGAIN, for our school Prizegiving ceremony. I got the music prize which I am hoping beyond hope is moneys, but I have a sneaking suspicion it is book tokens. Which wouldn't go amiss, but aren't as good as CASH! haha!

It will be really nice to see some of my friends again, but I am not really looking forward to certain members of staff going "I always knew you could do it" and expecting me to tactically forget that they told me not to even bother applying to Cambridge at all... Such is the hypocrisy of the world. I bought a University scarf today, even though this week is going to be bloody expensive.

This has been a somewhat depressing post, but there is this thing at Cambridge (I think that those at the Other Place have it too) called "5th Week Blues" which I and all of my friends seem to be experiencing at the moment. To combat our misery, we murdered a piece of toast, and drowned it in washing up liquid, before leaving it on the kitchen floor like vandals. Because that was a really good use of our time. As is this...

Don't get me wrong. I am having a fantastic time here.

This week just passed has been one of the best weeks ever. The election of Barack Obama was amazing. We all partied all night long at the Union, and when Obama's election was announced, the place just ERUPTED in this Bacchic, ecstatic, euphoria, people kissing, embracing, cheering, laughing, waking the sleeping few to tell them the news... I will remember that night forever. And I have met Dan...

I have never felt so at home before. I have met some amazing, wonderful, beautiful, intelligent, hilarious, likeminded people. I truly believe that I am at home here. But right now, I feel like death.

I think that the only thing is to go to bed. And post a much more optimistic post at the weekend, when this hellish week is over. Because inevitably, whatever happens this week, there will (hopefully) be another week after it.