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Showing posts with label musical. Show all posts
Showing posts with label musical. Show all posts

Sunday, 19 October 2008

What do I want to be?

Have been told that I already AM all of the things that I wish I could be but that I just can't see it. Obviously, I think people are wrong. But I spend so much of my time wanting to be things, or wanting to be a certain way. I also find it incredibly difficult to decipher what I AM... What makes a person THEM? Some people seem to be so sure about who they are and what they stand for. I don't think that it is that straightforward.

Things I want to be... now, and in the near future.
  • A member of the College Chapel Choir. [Check]
  • An illustrator for The Cambridge Student. [Sort of Check, although haven't actually started yet, and I want it to be part of my identity]
  • Beautiful. I know it is all subjective... but I do wish I were beautiful.
  • Funny. I do a lot for laughs, because it makes me feel like ME and I don't often get a "me" feeling.
  • Musical. And known for it.
  • Liked. [check. I think. I have such a desire to be someone whom people can turn to, and also who can be laughed with and so on.]
  • A legend. Ha, how egocentric. (at least I am honest)
  • Someone with Youtube fame. [Check....ish. One of my videos has around 31,000 views, but I am always hungering for more celebrity. How tragic. Oh well. here is the link... CLICK! ]
  • Someone with style. I love wearing clothes. I love making outfits up in my head, and searching for all of the items. Gosh, this blog is so ME ME ME. But yeah...
  • Clever. I am never going to be the best at being clever. Because I am at Cambridge, and there are so many people here who are incredible. But I would like to get a good degree pleeeeease!!
  • creative [check. i suppose. I always paint, draw, sew, knit, make, etc etc.]

So there we go. Another list one. But nobody really reads this Blog anyway. I would be really interested to know if you HAVE read one of my posts, so please comment if you have. I do like to know if I have an audience. :)

I suppose before I end this, I might make a short, and rather incoherent list of things I want from the future...

  • A family. Yes, I want to be a mother.
  • A home. Yes, I would absolutely revel in making a home glorious, and beautiful, full of art, and music and happiness.
  • Fame. I have a problem in that I can't bear the thought of leaving this world without having left something of note behind me, so that I can be remembered forever...
  • To be beautiful. I don't know why looks are so important to me... I don't care about other people's! And to look at me, you wouldn't think I cared about my own. To some degree I don't, as I know there is no hope...

So... Yeah.

Wednesday, 2 January 2008

Romance

Salut toutlemonde!

Well, I am desperately trying to complete two french essays before i go out tonight to see a french film: Les Chansons D'Amour . I am really excited about seeing this film, as it has one of my favourite actresses in it (Ludivine Sagnier), and it is a musical!!! So all in all, i am having a bit of a french themed day. I just wish i hadn't left ALL of my homework until after New Year... and internet procrastination is my downfall.

On the subject of new year, I had a good one in the end, although theings were looking rough at one point. I was meant to be spending it in the village/town where my dad lives, with him, and my baby brother and sister. But I was getting more and more stressed out with the children, and with my life-plans (to convert to Judaism, marry a Hindu, and bring up several delightfully mixed race children) being shot to pieces by well meaning family friends, that I eventually upped and left, getting the first train I could to an even more remote village, where I was invited to a party at my friend Tasha's house. It was a really funny night, with some top quotes to enter into my Quote Book.
We weren't wearing hats for the entire evening, but they did come into the party equation for some reason. nobody really remembers why!

Christmas was good. I split my time between mother's and father's. (Oh the joys of divorce!) and of course received some pretty good presents. Lots of makeup, and some clothes, which is really what I wanted, so was pleased on that front. However, I did have to eat TWO christmas dinners, due to both parents insisting on being the one who cooked me my christmas meal... Neither of them know that the other one did, and I suppose I intend to keep it that way!

I have been discovering other people's blogs too, which has made me feel a bit like my blog isn't all that good! It doesn't really have a point to it, and I don't think anyone reads it!

So, back to my french essay on «Les éffets des progrès en génétique». I shall post a blog about Les Chansons D'Amour at some point. I really hope it is good!