Thursday, 30 September 2010

It's the Final Countdown...

I swear I have given that title to a blog post before. I was so struck with this feeling, that I went through all of the blog posts, and checked their titles. I couldn't SEE one with this title, but I think that I might have just missed it somehow.

The day after tomorrow, I move all of my stuff from Dan's family's house, to my room at Fitz. I am very excited about my new room, but that's about all I am excited about, regarding the next year. I realise that I waxed hysterical about this in my last blog post, but it is all I am really thinking about at the moment.

You know that time, every year (usually around August, September, just as the leaves begin to change colour slightly, and the air gets its first chill), when you start to think about the academic year to come? I certainly do anyway. Every year, it is the same, as I vow that it will be different. I promise myself that this year, I will finally be popular (my 13 year old self was absolutely blind to the fact that she was a very popular little girl), or that this year I will read more books relating to my studies, or that this year I will wear my hair in more interesting ways... It always seems to fall apart by the second or third day of term, where I glumly scold myself that of course I can't change who I am. I am doomed to be this way forever. But I never learn.

I suppose that normal people have this feeling around January the third, but not me. I seem to work by academic years. I suppose, given my career choice, I always will. I have a crystal clear image of myself, aged thirty, writing names into a mark book, and thinking, "This year, I will get all of my marking done on time, and I will colour code my comments on the kids' work, and I will make sure that I use more powerpoint (if it isn't obsolete by then), and I will read more books..."

So what am I thinking this year? What are my proposed (ridiculously far-fetched) self-improvements this year? My 'New Year's Resolutions' if you will?

  • Don't spend as much time on the internet
  • Read more (replace useless internet time with useFUL reading time)
  • Work in the library
  • Get my essays done before 'essay crisis night'
  • Cook for everyone and make them think I am a superawesome cook
  • Pluck my goddamn eyebrows more often.
  • File my work more neatly
  • Go to more lectures
  • Make better lecture notes.
  • Do more exercise
  • Eat more healthily

I am le tired.

Tuesday, 28 September 2010

Things Happen

It has been all summer, and once again, I have been awful at blogging. Why do I do these things? Why do I try so hard to be one of those "I have such an awesome life, and I blog about it" kind of people, when I clearly do NOT have an awesome life, and as you can see, I obviously don't blog about it!

Possibly, if I had more of a specific focus for this blog, then I would be better at maintaining it. Who knows.

I have spent the last few days researching PGCE providers, frantically. Applications have now opened for the Postgraduate teaching qualification that I want to take, and so I have to choose the four to which I would consider going, and then start to work on my application. I can't physically send the application until I have some work experience under my belt, so today has also been spent e-mailing the local State secondary schools, asking them if I can sit in on some English lessons... as if I haven't already sat in enough English lessons.

This year, my feelings of anxiety are overshadowing my excitement to go back to university, in a big way. I can't stop thinking about how big the workload is going to be, and how I have to improve my grade on last year, with an even bigger workload. I also have a dissertation to do, and a course to apply to. I have to read several Greek Tragedies, and Moby Dick, by next week, and I haven't even started the year yet. On top of that, it is potentially my final year in Cambridge (unless I decide to take my PGCE here too), and I want to make it amazing. Last year was distinctly underwhelming in parts, and I have been rather unhappy. There are so many things I want to see, do, cook, read, and take part in this year. How on earth am I going to balance that with my academic work? This is a major worry to me.

I will finish by linking to some of the blogs I have been reading recently:

Smitten Kitchen - a wonderful food blog, that makes me want to be a food blogger.

Pencil Case - the blog of my dear friend Sharon. She writes wonderfully, and she knows about science and shiz. I like her blog. It dwarfs mine.

Fazed Girl
- this blog makes me smile all the time. The best fashion/life blog I have read in a long time, and I like it because it is so understated. Maybe I can just relate to the 'perpetually trying to get dressed' thing.

Sushi Bandit - I don't even know why I look at this blog, but I find it addictive.

Wednesday, 9 June 2010

The Pursuit Of Whimsy...

The last week has been dedicated to the pursuit of whimsy. Floral prints, light fabric, lens flare, dancing in the grass, blowing bubbles... All very standard stuff, I am sure. I ran out of bubble mixture after blowing bubbles for three hours solid out of my window. Only about ten people walked past in the whole time I was blowing bubbles, and one of them was a porter who remarked "ooh bubbles!". This pleased me, as when an elderly man can enjoy bubbles, then the world is a happy place for me.

Today I went to the Foundation Degree Show, at the Central St Martin's College of Art. It is on for another three days, if anyone is reading this, and is also in the vicinity of London. It was amazing. I felt like weeping constantly, for the entire time I was there. Why didn't I follow my dreams of doing art? WHY? My friend Eleanor Bull (link to her website) was exhibiting her work there, and that was incredible, although being the primary subject of her project, I found it quite difficult to appreciate her final piece. There was a lot of beautiful work on display, and I found myself feeling incredibly jealous of the students. I shouldn't. I am at Cambridge, living so many people's dream. I still looked at those people's illustrations and creations and felt miserable because I want to be doing those things.

Something else that struck me at the art show was how amazingly everyone dressed. I have been told before that I "dress like an art student", but I feel I need to take this more seriously, and get back into expressing myself with clothes. I swear I used to be way more creative with my outfits. Let's do this, Candy. Let's get back into the fucking SWING of things. Pull your finger out!

At the recommendation of my good friend Julia, I purchased some of Boots' traditional Cold Cream. I am looking into completely vintage-ifying my skincare regime. I am hoping, wishing and praying that the Cold Cream isn't the reason for my sudden breakout, and that it is actually something hormone/crimson wave related... One side of my face is softer and happier than ever, but the other side insists on being red and dry and spotty all at once. I wish I had Julia's complexion...

Before I stop writing this, and go back to perusing the internets, I will just add that I am planning on getting a tattoo on my foot this summer. I want a little swallow, but I just have to decide on the placement. And see if my mum will hate me forever if I get a tattoo... I don't think she will mind really, since it is so small and she never had any problems with my piercings.

Goodnight all.

Sunday, 25 April 2010

Down two notches and they're putty in your hands...

Hello to my ten followers.

Tomorrow is my next Alternachick post day, I think. If not, I am posting anyway. A few days ago, I bit the bullet by the horns, and dyed my fringe pink. I have always wanted pink hair. I didn't really go the whole hog though, because I don't have the balls to bleach it. Still, in the sunlight, it is pretty darn pink. It might be fading though, we'll see. Tell me what you think tomorrow, I suppose, because that would be fairly awesome.

On the topic of awesome, I have decided, rather self deprecatingly, that I am not nearly awesome enough. I have decided to make it my mission to become more awesome. I am not entirely sure how this will manifest itself, but I just know that I need to become less of a doormat, and more of an interesting person. I intend to Blog More Frequently, in order to document my transition from ordinary person, to awesome being.

Today, the sky was angry but the light shining through my windows was golden. I looked everywhere for a hidden rainbow, but decided eventually that there was no need for one, because this amazing feeling of the clouds as a lid to some alarmingly large pot of gold, was more than sufficient to make my day. My flatmate James showed me Venus and Saturn in the sky this evening - the sky had cleared save for a haphazard collection of cumulus, and Venus was a pinprick in the lightest part of the sky. Seeing Venus on one side of me, and Saturn on the other side, just above the moon, was a strange experience. I haven't ever really felt that simultaneous feeling of insignificance and belonging, that people of faith tell me about. I think that tonight was as close as I have come to such a feeling.

See you tomorrow!

Tuesday, 19 January 2010

Of late birthdays and essays...


Lastnight, I had a late birthday party. 24 of us went to Carluccio's to have a meal and then went to a nasty pub for a drink. The nice pubs were all full, presumably because they are nice, so we ended up in a grothole called The Bathouse, or Bath House or something. It smelled of wee in there. The meal however, did not smell of wee, and for that I was grateful. Overjoyed if you will. I had some sort of spicy pasta, and some icecream. I should have had the ravioli though, because I tried Dan's and it was nicer. E said to me that she had the ravioli "so that she could be just like Bella Swan". It was said in jest though, I assure you. With possible hints of truth. Who knows. Who knows...

I have decided this term to become more dedicated to my ballet classes. I am doing the show this term. Last term I slacked off a bit because I was ill and lazy, but I have had some sudden inspiration. It seemed to come with the satisfying post-class agony I experience in the thighs. I really like it, for some reason. I have decided to stick at it. Maybe one day I will be allowed en pointe, if I carry on after university. It is a long held pipe dream of mine. I quit ballet when I was six, because my friend Grace quit and I wanted to do everything that Grace did. Hmm.

Needless to say, I have been researching everything I can about ballet on the internet, as I usually do when I get into one of my fads. I am needlessly excited. Only problem is, the teacher wants us to start wearing the proper uniform to lessons from now on, and I am super embarrassed in the pink tights. I haven't shaved/waxed my legs since June. I guess I had better get down to removing my extra winter fur layer soon then.

Oooh more excitement is that I am hopefully replacing my very very worn out ibook G4 with a snazzy little netbook. They are so ridiculously cute. I sound silly, getting all squee about a small computer, but the little Dell Minis make me want to urinate with excitement.

Thursday, 7 January 2010

My New Style Icon

I have a new style/life icon in the 1920s-30s actress, Clara Bow. I spent all of last night on youtube and google images, devouring every picture and video of her that I could find. Here is the first video I found. I was idly typing words into the youtube searchbar as one does, and stumbled across this under a search for "navy"...

I especially like her because she was phobic of microphones, which I find adorable, and also because she was ginger... Like me!

Sunday, 3 January 2010


Well, I haven't had the best day really, but something exciting has occurred. Today, it was my first post on the a fashion blog, which can be found here so please check it out, if you read this blog.

I have been mostly failing at my work today, and so I am pretty depressed. I don't really want to write about it here though, because I don't understand it myself really. It isn't to do with the work per se, but that isn't helping much.

To cheer me up, and also as an excuse to take photos for the Alternachick blog, Dan and I went for a walk. Here are a few of the photos from the walk (you can see more on Alternachick:
So there.