Thursday, 30 September 2010

It's the Final Countdown...

I swear I have given that title to a blog post before. I was so struck with this feeling, that I went through all of the blog posts, and checked their titles. I couldn't SEE one with this title, but I think that I might have just missed it somehow.

The day after tomorrow, I move all of my stuff from Dan's family's house, to my room at Fitz. I am very excited about my new room, but that's about all I am excited about, regarding the next year. I realise that I waxed hysterical about this in my last blog post, but it is all I am really thinking about at the moment.

You know that time, every year (usually around August, September, just as the leaves begin to change colour slightly, and the air gets its first chill), when you start to think about the academic year to come? I certainly do anyway. Every year, it is the same, as I vow that it will be different. I promise myself that this year, I will finally be popular (my 13 year old self was absolutely blind to the fact that she was a very popular little girl), or that this year I will read more books relating to my studies, or that this year I will wear my hair in more interesting ways... It always seems to fall apart by the second or third day of term, where I glumly scold myself that of course I can't change who I am. I am doomed to be this way forever. But I never learn.

I suppose that normal people have this feeling around January the third, but not me. I seem to work by academic years. I suppose, given my career choice, I always will. I have a crystal clear image of myself, aged thirty, writing names into a mark book, and thinking, "This year, I will get all of my marking done on time, and I will colour code my comments on the kids' work, and I will make sure that I use more powerpoint (if it isn't obsolete by then), and I will read more books..."

So what am I thinking this year? What are my proposed (ridiculously far-fetched) self-improvements this year? My 'New Year's Resolutions' if you will?

  • Don't spend as much time on the internet
  • Read more (replace useless internet time with useFUL reading time)
  • Work in the library
  • Get my essays done before 'essay crisis night'
  • Cook for everyone and make them think I am a superawesome cook
  • Pluck my goddamn eyebrows more often.
  • File my work more neatly
  • Go to more lectures
  • Make better lecture notes.
  • Do more exercise
  • Eat more healthily

I am le tired.

Tuesday, 28 September 2010

Things Happen

It has been all summer, and once again, I have been awful at blogging. Why do I do these things? Why do I try so hard to be one of those "I have such an awesome life, and I blog about it" kind of people, when I clearly do NOT have an awesome life, and as you can see, I obviously don't blog about it!

Possibly, if I had more of a specific focus for this blog, then I would be better at maintaining it. Who knows.

I have spent the last few days researching PGCE providers, frantically. Applications have now opened for the Postgraduate teaching qualification that I want to take, and so I have to choose the four to which I would consider going, and then start to work on my application. I can't physically send the application until I have some work experience under my belt, so today has also been spent e-mailing the local State secondary schools, asking them if I can sit in on some English lessons... as if I haven't already sat in enough English lessons.

This year, my feelings of anxiety are overshadowing my excitement to go back to university, in a big way. I can't stop thinking about how big the workload is going to be, and how I have to improve my grade on last year, with an even bigger workload. I also have a dissertation to do, and a course to apply to. I have to read several Greek Tragedies, and Moby Dick, by next week, and I haven't even started the year yet. On top of that, it is potentially my final year in Cambridge (unless I decide to take my PGCE here too), and I want to make it amazing. Last year was distinctly underwhelming in parts, and I have been rather unhappy. There are so many things I want to see, do, cook, read, and take part in this year. How on earth am I going to balance that with my academic work? This is a major worry to me.

I will finish by linking to some of the blogs I have been reading recently:

Smitten Kitchen - a wonderful food blog, that makes me want to be a food blogger.

Pencil Case - the blog of my dear friend Sharon. She writes wonderfully, and she knows about science and shiz. I like her blog. It dwarfs mine.

Fazed Girl
- this blog makes me smile all the time. The best fashion/life blog I have read in a long time, and I like it because it is so understated. Maybe I can just relate to the 'perpetually trying to get dressed' thing.

Sushi Bandit - I don't even know why I look at this blog, but I find it addictive.