Misty Yorkshire Moors - A Morning Walk

When everything in your life is clouded by the unknown, by fear, doubt, disquiet... know that there is the cool mist of a Yorkshire morning, a squelching dew puddle underfoot, and soft, brown earth beneath the emerald leaves that deck the forest floor.
Know that the clouds will fall gently to the ground and kiss you on their way down.
Know that the trees grow straight and tall, and in housed their boughs are countless tiny lives.
Know that the sun will rise again and the fog will allow you to gaze upon it in its roundness, unhindered by its usual blinding light.
Know that you can fill your lungs with something and what you breathe out will fill the earth also.
That the throbbing nonsense of the world has rhythm and pace and the dizzying hell scape has ebbs and quietnesses.
That you are everything even while you are nothing.








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My winter pilgrimage

Every year we take a trip to my dad's place. He lives in Brittany, and although there are a lot of ways to get there, my absolute favourite is the overnight Brittany Ferries crossing from Portsmouth to St Malo. We get the same ferry almost every time - the Pont Aven - which is by far the best one in my opinion. I love the kitsch mix of patterned carpets, textured tiling and colourful seat designs, and the décor in general, but really I just love being able to get on the boat, dump all my luggage in the sleeping cabin, get dinner, go to the bar for a drink and then sleep through hours and hours of the crossing until morning, when I can get a cooked breakfast and watch the sun rise all blue and inky in the winter sky.
I have an entire set of traditions surrounding this boat journey - I always buy a little plate of cheeses with my meal even if I am completely full after eating the main course, and I also always get a packet of Prince biscuits (they're a bit like the chocolate BN biscuits if you remember those) to eat as a snack in the middle of the night in the cabin.
There's always some kind of cheesy entertainment going on in the bar, which is kind of magnificent against the bleak, blackness of the winter sea spray which pummels the boat as it sails through the night. Plus, the mojito in this bar is the cheapest and most lovingly made cocktail I think I've ever had. We usually sit in the bar for a bit and read or I write in my diary for a while, and then we head back to the cabin where I'll stick a film on my laptop and fall asleep.
I know the ferry isn't really the glamorous option, and some people are probably worried about getting sea sick or being uncomfortable, but while I can't speak for everyone, I've always found that I'm fine on this crossing. I pop a couple of travel-sickness tablets before the boat leaves, and this usually makes me drowsy enough to sleep by bedtime. The cabin is cosy and comes with its own toilet and shower, plus there's this ultra-soothing bagpipe music to wake you up just in time for breakfast in the morning. I have a huge amount of romance and nostalgia attached to Brittany Ferries, and to the Pont Aven boat in particular. For me it symbolises going to visit my dad, and it's also one of the highlights of winter for me, after my birthday!
I hope you enjoyed these photos - I got a brand new lens from Dan's parents for my birthday, so I've been having lots of fun playing around with it.
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A tiny camping microholiday

It's been a while, hasn't it. A lot has happened since I last blogged over here. I've started a new writing project, Daily Playwright where I (you guessed it) write a play every single day. The plays are very short, don't worry. I've also handed in my notice at work - my last day is in five weeks. Everything is exciting and there's a lot of adventuring on the horizon for me. But for now, I'm just going to share a few pictures from a little tiny holiday that Dan and I went on a few weeks ago.




It was just an overnight camping trip but it was probably the most relaxing 24 hours I've had in a very long time. Work has been manic and I've been writing a play every single evening. Everything has been go go go all year, and frankly, I can't believe it's July already. I took a long break from blogging because I was disillusioned with the constant networking and commercialism. Those are huge aspects of the blogging world and I respect them wholeheartedly, but I don't know if I am able to participate on that level. As a result, I ran away and avoided blogging for a really long time. I haven't looked at my blog email in forever and I am so so sorry if you've emailed me and nor received a response. But I'm ready to dip a tentative toe back into the blogosphere and blog on my own terms again. And I'll get to your emails, I promise! ;)






Now that we have a tent, we're going to do a lot more camping. It's so lovely to listen to the birds in the morning and feel the grass between your toes. Plus, once you've got the kit, camping is pretty cheap. This next year is going to be an incredibly frugal one for us as I will be doing a masters and Dan will be finishing his PhD. So expect more little camping adventures on this 'ere bloggeroo.




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Details from our study

After spending ages thinking, "the house has to be totally finished before I show it to anyone", I've finally decided that life is too short. Our study isn't finished yet - I still don't have a chair, and we've not hung our posters and prints yet, but I've managed to make the shelves look rather lovely and I'm allowing myself a moment to feel accomplished, even if I've not actually completed the task at hand yet.

I've been busy building my online portfolio of writing and I'm far from finished with that either. I live and breathe the internet and I know that my dream job involves a magnificent melange of the written word and the interwebs, but I do sometimes wonder if the internet is just broadening the scope for self-loathing among 'milennials'. With every meaningful connection made comes dozens of hours spent looking at all of the talented people achieving enviable things all over the globe. In some distant past, each individual had a smaller world to conquer. I remember feeling like a big fish in a small pond, once upon a dream.

If you're interested in any of the things I've been writing, you could check out this article I wrote about the representation of periods in the media. It's got a kick-ass punderful headline too. You should also look at my BuzzFeed article in which I imagine the stereotypical high school teen movie as if it were set in the United Kingdom. In addition to this, I'm in the process of launching an exciting creative writing project for myself. More on this in time, my petals. That wasn't meant to sound quite as creepy as it did.





If it wasn't obvious already from the content of my blog, I am pretty sure that these details from my office space will give you some insight into my main interests - writing, photography and my own cat. There's something about this office space that is nostalgic for my study spaces at university, and I'm really excited that I'm going to be getting back into studying Hebrew very soon. Even though 'you learn something new every day' by osmosis, I still find it incredibly important to actively seek out knowledge.

I'll sign off for now - let me know if you enjoyed my articles! I hope you're having a good day, that your tea is still warm, and that you've got something you're looking forward to telling someone somewhere.

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A home made beauty box

An embarrassingly long time ago (hey, I've had no internet, okay?), my blogger pal Angelica (who blogs over at One Little Vice) made me my very own beauty box. When she presented it to me, I nearly cried in the middle of the tropical luau-themed bar where we were attending a Bloggers Love event. Not half an hour before, I'd accidentally strode into the middle of a catwalk scenario where lean, sparkly women were gliding up and down a makeshift runway. My hair was a wild wintery mass of windswept fuzz, I had three bags with me, and I was bundled up in an enormous duffle coat. Some guy shouted at me and I retreated into the first secluded spot I could find, which happened to be the behind-the-bar area. Someone was wiping a crate of glasses, and shot an accusatory glance at me as if to say, "Trespasser!"

I found Angelica and Charlotte (better known online as Ch-ARGH-ley) and we became a three musketeers (or perhaps three Macbethian witches) kind of gang, setting up camp in the far corner of the event. Charley got her hair done by the lovely folks at Umberto Giannini (who gave us some great styling products to test out, which really came in handy over the holiday period), and Angelica gave me this little black box...

The box itself was recycled from a subscription beauty box she'd received in the past, but instead of the customary couple of sample products you normally get in this kind of box, this one was completely stuffed with amazing treats. Some of them were makeup bits she no longer wanted, such as the Body Shop Honey Bronzer, or the NYX blush (which I think looks more like an eyeshadow, personally). Other products were samples she had acquired over time. I was especially excited to try out the Kiehl's Midnight Recovery serum, and I squealed with delight when I saw the Demeter Fragrance Library perfume. I've wanted to own one of these for years now. These days, you can buy a selection of them in Boots, but back in the day, you had to ship them from America without ever having smelled them.

It was such a treat to be given so many lovely products, especially by someone who REALLY knows their shizz when it comes to cosmetics. Angelica is the kind of person whose opinion I trust a lot when it comes to beauty stuff. Yeah, a couple of the products are second hand, which might gross some people out, but it's all stuff that can be cleaned and it's not like she's a stranger off the street, offering me a gummy old eyeliner. A lot of beauty and fashion bloggers end up with way more products than they can feasibly wear, and often a really good quality product won't agree with a particular person, so I think that gifts among friends are a fantastic way to sort this out. I'm thinking of planning some kind of clothes swap party at some point, to get rid of a lot of clothes and accessories that I don't wear anymore. I'd much rather see my friends enjoying my old things than feel guilty when I see bundles of my unloved clothes in the bottom of my wardrobe.



As predicted, I loved the Demeter perfume (which smells fresh and grown up), and the Midnight Recovery oil was super luxurious to use, although the jury's out on the skin benefits. I found it quite difficult to tell which products have been working for my skin lately, as I've changed up my whole routine (which is another post for another day, I think). The Korres lip butter has a gorgeous pinkish tint to it, and the cherry blossom l'Occitane shower gel has an addictive fragrance. I've had an excellent time trying all of these products out, and I'm so grateful to Angelica for giving me the chance to try out being a beauty blogger for a brief moment. I'm definitely not turning this blog into a beauty blog - I don't think I'd be able to do this full time, but I'm sure there's room for a leeeetle bit more beauty chat here. After all, messing about with makeup and fun moisturisers can actually be quite enjoyable. My teenage self would be very confused if she heard me say that, but there you go - character development.

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Where are you?!

This is a fair question, to be honest. I've gone from being extremely active in the blogging community to being practically inactive, in the space of a couple of months. It started out because we had to leave our flat to stay with my parents in law for a bit, and they had the slowest internet connection I've experienced since 2002. But somewhere along the way, I lost my blogging mojo. It's not that I don't love blogging, it's just that I've lost my confidence a bit.

Not being able to participate as actively as I'd like meant that my views started to decline, and coupled with the fact that a blog post that would ordinarily take a few hours to write was taking a whole evening, I started to feel as though blogging was more stressful than enjoyable. We've moved into our beautiful flat now, but instead of it being the magical haven of internet connectivity that I was dreaming about, we've been plagued with problem after problem, and are currently having to use a wireless 3G dongle thing, that cuts out every few minutes until mid February (we're told). It makes responding to comments very difficult, and makes long and creative posts nearly impossible right now.

Having access to social media is both a blessing and a curse really, because on the one hand, I can stay connected with all of my beautiful, funny and intelligent blogger friends, but on the other hand, I can see that you're all posting excellent content that I can't really look at properly, and I can't contribute to discussions and chats either! Moan whinge whine etc etc.

So this is just a really quick post (hoping it actually posts this time!) to let you know that I appreciate you guys all sticking around over the last few months while my posting has been unbelievably sporadic. To reward you, here are some lovely lists that make very quick and easy reading:

Things I've purchased recently
- Picture frames for our staircase picture wall.
- A neon-pink slanket from Amazon (this was Dan, not me... just for the record)
- A new mini set of watercolours as I lost my old set in the move (something always goes missing)
- Furniture wax (is this what adulthood feels like??!)

Things I've eaten recently
- An amazing malaysian curry from a little place near my work
- Supermarket sushi
- Lots of popchips (I swear they sprinkle them with crack or something, they are so addictive!)

Things on my mind
- My job interview on Friday (for another job at my current workplace).
- The mushroom growing out of our stairs. Grim. Also getting fixed on Friday thank GOODNESS.
- Creating something that 'matters'/Trying to be 'relevant'/Wanting to be 'influential'...

That will be all for now, as it's time for bed and the internet keeps cutting out. I really do enjoy reading your comments and your tweets and I appreciate your presence in my life, however peripheral it may be! I'll get my mojo back soon. I bet it'll coincide with getting my internet connection back, eh?

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A creative year

My time without the internet has been less traumatic than anticipated, if I'm honest. I had a chance to see my family, to recharge my batteries, and to think a lot about what I wanted from the next year of my life. I tend to get very existential towards the end of the year, what with my birthday and new year falling so close together. Plus, surrounded by the intense, frosty beauty of midwinter Brittany, I can't help but contemplate the world and my place in it.

I've got a lot planned for this year, and I'm going to share just a few of my ideas here, so you guys can hold me accountable, and then you get to look at some of the photos I took while I was visiting my Dad:

Food:

1. Make a new recipe we’ve never tried before, every single week.
2. Eat cheaply and healthily for the rest of the week.
3. Make lunch and take it to work.

Exercise:

1. Start Pilates – all of my doctors tell me I have to, so I should probably at least give it a go.
2. Go swimming with Dan every single week. Decide which day is best.
3. Attend these ‘back strengthening classes’ the hospital has decided to make me do. Eek!

Creativity:

1. Finish all of my currently unfinished poems (as of the beginning of the year).
2. Collect poems together into small book. Perhaps make it into a poetry zine of sorts and sell it? If not, think of something else to do with them.
3. Write at least three complete songs, and record demos of them.
4. Take a self portrait of me and Dan every single month. Be creative.
5. Buy a proper black fineliner, dig out my watercolours and watercolour paper to do some illustrations.
6. Make the picture-wall for our flat.

Blog-related stuff:

1. Work ahead with blog posts so I am not writing and publishing and photo editing all on one day.
2. Post at least twice a week.
4. Participate in all the networking bits and bobs! Make friends!

Being a functional human being:

1. Remember people’s birthdays and send them cards.
2. Actually collect all of my friends’ postal addresses into one single place. I think they call this an ‘address book’ but it’s been such a long time since I’ve had one that I can’t be sure.

Being magnificent:

1. Wear more glitter.
2. Bother to do my eyeliner more often.
3. Go on adventures, at home and on holiday.
4. Be kind to everyone (including myself).
5. Wear the best clothes.
6. Make time for self-care.
7. Work towards having a job I really love.

So, those are my main goals. I'm hoping that this year is a really meaningful one, with plenty of magic and lots of memories. Winter is always really tough for me, but I'm going to work hard to make it to spring and get a lot of important shizzle done. I feel like I've been out of the blogging loop for so long now - am I doing alright? How are you getting along with your new year goals so far?

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